Unrealistic Expectations

Why having higher expectations lead to disappointment.

#raining-thoughts #philosophy #life

/ 4 mins. read

Introduction

Sadly, being human beings we tend to expect things and end up with disappointments. Though it’s an excellent thing to be hopeful, you’ll soon learn that this just can’t be true.

Note: Most of the below lines where too good to be modified, thus, are literally copy-pasted from the specified references with some basic corrections.

Whom do you expect from?

  • Expectations from one-self. All expectations from one-self is realistic since we humans are very extremely capable. We are our only roadblock on achieving anything.

  • Expectations from others. This is where the uncertainty comes into play. It’s not bad to expect something from others. But, keep it low that even the smallest thing makes you happier. If you have high expectations, you are more prone to shattering yourself.

Why shouldn’t you expect much?

  • Hard work always succeed

Most think that believing in yourself and working hard for it, will make you anything you wanted to be in life. If this is true, we’ll all be astronauts, athletes, next billionaire, etc by now. There have been people who have seen their dreams come true. But everyone doesn’t have this chance. Sometimes, they are blessed with great luck. They were at the right places at the right time with the right people.

  • Life is fair

We’ve been told that life isn’t fair. Even then, everybody expects life to be somehow balanced out, even if we don’t do anything. If you are such kind, it’s time to get over it. When something “unfair” happens, don’t rely on external forces to get you back on your feet. You should be capable of doing it on your own. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you take actions that’ll actually make a difference.

  • Things will make me happy

Sure, things can make life more fun and comfortable in the short run, but they can’t make you happy in the long run. Too many of us expect a future event to make us happy, instead of looking more deeply into the real causes of our unhappiness. If you don’t fix what’s going on inside, no external event or item is going to make you happy, no matter how much you want it to.

  • They can be trusted

If you are someone who has suffered at the hands of betrayal, trust issues become magnified. It’s hard to trust someone, especially when you know that you are replaceable and so is everyone else. It’s all about give and take. Everything is a deal. If someone’s with you today, it’s because they might be benefiting something out of you. People have better choices so they would definitely chase the alternatives. However, sometimes we do need to trust people. Those people who deserve your trust are people one’s that have better alternatives and yet they choose to be with you. You need to trust this kind of person. Not everyone has the same level of dedication. Learn to identify a bad person before they hurt you.

Conclusion

Life is filled with anomalies. Having realistic expectations doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed that one will achieve it. So, take a chance and change things. Stop expecting, start exploring and do things by yourself. Expectations is the motive that keeps us going, you cannot live without it. But it’s wise to keep them lowered. It is foolish to expect other people to fulfill your expectations. The only person you can have expectations is none other than you. So, it’s always better to maintain a realistic expectations for a content life that portrays a certain degree of happiness.

“If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.” - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

“Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.” - Ralph Marston

“Love without motives. Give without expectations. Forgive without conditions.”

References